Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?

I was nearly scared to death of why you left in paragraphs.

Your heart has a lack of colour

After reading Prati's and Prabesh's blog, it hit me suddenly. The emotions they written there I had been through. The anger they had makes me equally furious. The longing for that friend to be well makes no use for me telling them that, Cause they were the ones who made me feel well. It will be ironic that I ask them to be well, whereas on the other side, its pouring everyday inside.
When they say all good things come to an end, its unfair.

While Prati was telling me about how her friend's farewell went, I started tearing up. I was stupid to ask her in the first place cause Prati suddenly looked straight into my eyes and said, "Your eyes are teary. Are you going to cry?". I was embarrassed. Way damn too full embarrassed. I did not know what else to say so I replied, "I am an emotional person".
And its the truth.





Right now, to stop this crazy emotions from running all over me, Im staring at the staute of a laughing buddha beside me. Strangley its making me smile. Its crazy but my brother felt the same too. Crazy to the extend that he literally kissed the buddha's bald head.

Maybe,

...maybe two is better than one.

This dagger digs deep

Half an hour ago, I felt a very sharp pain in the center of my chest. Not the first time I have encountered this but, this times it was really really pain. Whenever I inhale, there will be that sharp pain followed by a really bad heart pain. I suspect unhealthy body system in my short, fat body. Prati even managed to guess that I had junk food for my dinner.

After a few sharp pains, suddenly my heart aches. I started to break down. I cried. And also I was listening to Blink 182's I miss you. Stupid as it may sound, but I like to easily break down. Makes me feel like I can feel. Makes me feel I can be stronger. But it always gets back to square 1. So I gave myself 30 seconds of slience cause 1 minute is just too long. When they say time flies by fast, for me its slow. Well sometimes ya its fast but at times like this, its slow. Therefore I choose to say, I want to die young.

Yet again

When I started to have celebrity crush on Tablo, he goes and gets married. -.-
Ohwells.
He looks like Eunhyuk! Wow.

I is want to meet Wooyoung+Eunhyuk!!

Clapclap

I have told myself many times.
I have reminded myself repeatedly.
I have swore to myself over and over again.
I swear I will get you, my dreams.





****ers.

Suman: "Where are you!"
Mom: "Im out. Why?"
Suman: "Im alone at home."
Mom: "HAHAHAHAHHA! Its not the first time."





Faint.

Feces!

-FieldofDreams;wanderlust; says:
hahahahas
faint
u are always shittitng
ur bowel system is very GOOD

colour my life with chaos of trouble says:
HAHHAHAHA
WTHEFECES IS THAT PRATI!
omg
faint
the more i laugh more pain
faint prati

--FieldofDreams;wanderlust; says:
hahahahas
then can
u please
go use the the
LADIES
oh so sorry
its a UNISEX TOILET
;D

colour my life with chaos of trouble says:
LOL
joke of the day!






Its funny to me.

deep and meaningless

If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

"I guess I wasnt unsure of it when I was with you"

So much has happened but I have so little to say.

Anyways, first week of school passed graceful. Nothing interesting. Just new lecture rooms which makes lectures even more boring. All in the name of, thanks to timetable, comfy, cushion seats. How lovely.

So on friday, went to watch the movie which I have been anticipated to watch for a really long time, 500 Days of Summer. Sometimes I am a sucker for happy endings and was sad that this wasnt so. It was kinda funny when everyone in the cinema went, "AHHHHHHHHH!", when Tom meets Autumm. Haha. But I prefered him to be with Summer. 500 Days of Summer is not the kinda of sad story, but I really teared and got angry when Summer said, "I guess I wasnt unsure of it when I was with you".


Pftt. Talk about being emo. Feces.

I caught myself

They say, "every cloud has a silver lining". My silver lining just got rusted and dirty. Bye charms.

You cut me open

Million times I have watched this.
Million times I have cried.
Million times I wanna be out there.
For the millionth time I wanna shine.

Puberty

I am strong when I am by myself.

My perfect

Boy meets Girl,
Girl meets Boy.
Doesnt believe in love.
Bestest friends.
Forever.




I would love that.

If my heart was a house,

..would you come live with me?

Too little less time

In one months time, this house will be empty.
In one months time, I will be alone.
In one months time, I will out there staring at this house cause it it not mine to be called home sweet home anymore.
In one months time, I will cry the hardest I have ever in my life.
So much hard I am already starting now.
In one months time, I have to say goodbye to the 3 toppest most people in my life.

500 Days of Summer

I want to watch.

Part 1

So damn happy to see Wooyoung in action again. DamnDamnDamnDamnDamn freaking happpy.

The sound of settling

I am pretty much a hay-wired person now. I like how I am intricated with my life. I like to stay mysterious. I do not like people figuring me out. I like people making me a decoration they put in the corner of their living room where they want no one else to notice. I feel better when I am hiding.


Today I went out with Prati. We had fun but I started to feel abit off and suddenly asked to go home. I am very sorry Prati.







Went to my favourtie place for waffle ice-cream. Yummy. Prati went in heaven. After that, went to Far East to get props for my project. Not really what I had in mind, but I got it cause ya it looked good on my models, plus, when desperate times calls for desperate measures. Wanted to go botancial garden but it was too far so we went to Hill Road or somewhere around there and took pictures that is not worth posting it here. That was when I started feeling tired and down, and so home we went.

I really should get a hold of my mood swings and throw them out of the window. But eventually they will find a way to crawl back into me. I should just leave myself alone. Shit this.

I will love you. I swear I will.

Looking at him makes me sad. Seeing his pictures everywhere makes me sad. Watching the way he moves makes me sad. The look in his eyes makes me sad.

This performance makes me sad. Knowing how he is hurt when he is out there in the crowd where nobody tries to understand them makes me sad.




Lean on my shoulder. I will dry your tears. I will help you through the toughest times. I will do whatever it takes to bring that smile on your face again. I will do anythin, Jang Wooyoung.

A Lack of Colour

Define emotional. No, I am not talking about "EMOOOOOO!". I am feeling emotional. I feel its ok to feel sad at times for no reason. I always feel sad. Everday. For no reason. I feel its ok. I think I repeated that.

Sometimes I just cry listening to songs. Especially Miserable At Best. Goodbyes are the best way to let go of every heart ache. Hard to let go but, nothing last for forever.

Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas

Confessions. Literally hay-wired. Dancing. Vomitting. Blabbering. Wow. I will now say I like my life. When I am with my friends. Thankyou Sindy Gurung and Pratichhya Ale. I love you girls till death. Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Sometimes you can't make it on your own

I would have choosen a better picture like what other bloggers do. Or should have post one with has my face but no. I am very sensitive. Sensitive towards peopl's comments against my "beautiful" face so therefore I'm going to give a "Miss-what-the-hell-are-you-digging-for-no-face-SHEEESHH" picture.

In this offically 18years of my life, I am still shy as the distance from heaven to hell.

Thankyou to everyone for this remarkable 18 years of my life.

I'm still living...

BS

JYP AUDITIONS GOING TO BE HELD IN USA/CANADA. WTF!

Don't smile,

..you look ugly.





















Now you tell me.

We miss you

After School performing 2PM's Again&Again. Even thou the voices were not that agressive enough, totally digging the moves.
And omg, on Kahi's arm, "'2' THIS IS FOR YOU GUYS." SO damn right!
LOVE AS!


2AM performaing 4Minute's Hot Issue. This is for you Joanna Tan. Haha. Nobody, nobody, nobody at all can beat Jokwon.


SUPER JUNIOR!!! Omg Eunhyuk!! Typing this and watching Eunhyuk on Bora. My day just got better:DDDDDD
Performing SNSD's Geine. I love how they incorporated other famous dance moves like, GD's Heartbreaker, BEG's Abracadadra, 2PM's I Hate You and one more I could not make out.

HOMIESS FOR LIFE!
A dog helping a wounded dog. Cool.


2AM - Jo Kwon & Seulong ~ Abracadabra Performance. If only 2PM praticipated too..

WOOOYOUNG~

You know you got this fantasy in your head about

Somtimes I feel like its no use.
No use of chasing after what you really want to do.

The reason I want to stay true to my dreams.
The reason I chase after my dream everyday.
The reason I want to live.
The only reason I will stay here.

Sweet dreams on a beautiful nightmare

I want to play Halloween Party.
I want to dress up as a ghost.
Put a piece of cloth over me and I'll be a ghost.
I want to go Night Safari's Halloween Special.